5 Tips for Relationship Balance
By Roslyn Loxton 29 March 2011
1. Have a clear understanding of what each other’s love language is? You may well be feeling rather unappreciated because your partner isn't responding to all you do for them. It is very common. Some people love to be given gifts and to others, this means nothing. Some people need to be told and others need to be shown. Understand what works for you and what works for your partner. Then you can do what works.
2. Consider your needs carefully and not just your partners or your kid’s needs or anyone else's for that matter. If you don't understand your own needs fully, how can your partner expect to understand them? When you don't fulfill your needs you become unbalanced. It is difficult to fulfill others needs when you are feeling unbalanced yourself. It is not a sustainable process.
3. Be generous in spirit and understand your partners needs fully. This is easier to do when it is a 2 way street of course. Sometimes our behavior is a result of an unmet need that we are blind to, we can feel unrest, but we haven't clearly identified what it is. (These blind spots are were counseling or coaching really come into play)
4. Share the vision. Do what you can to understand the vision you both have for your life together. When you share the dream, you can act like a team. Some times you're pushing and sometimes your pulling, sometimes you're being carried and sometimes you’re doing the carrying. If you don't have a shared dream, you can begin to harbor resentment for your sacrifices.
5. Let go of old baggage. Easier said then done, and you will probably need help. You don't put the last of the old milk into the new milk because it will make it go sour. Harboring any level of resentment or feeling less then great within you can be a real catalyst in unbalancing the relationship.
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